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Welcome to Hills Relationship Centre's
Resource Library
Practical tools, helpful insights, and gentle support — every step of the way
At Hills Relationship Centre, we believe that meaningful change doesn’t just happen in the counselling room — it continues between sessions, in everyday moments of reflection, connection, and growth.
Our Resource Library is a curated collection of tools, articles, and downloadable resources designed to support you on your counselling journey. Here you’ll find thoughtful information on topics relating to mental health, relationships, family life, parenting, emotional wellbeing, and personal growth — along with practical strategies you can use in real life. Whether you're looking to deepen your understanding, explore something that came up in session, or find ways to support yourself or a loved one, this space is here for you.
Check back often — we’re always adding new content created and recommended by our team to support you with care, compassion, and clarity.
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Why You Still Want Your Partner After They Hurt You (And Why That Doesn’t Mean You’re Weak)
You can still love someone even after deep betrayal. You can still crave closeness when your heart feels raw. If you’re lying awake wondering why desire and hurt can exist at the same time, this article speaks directly to that experience. Wanting Someone Who Hurt You Is More Common Than You Think After a betrayal, an affair, or a deep relational rupture, many people expect one thing: distance. They assume desire will disappear, love will shut down, and wanting their partner w
Hailee Walker
Feb 53 min read
School Refusal – A Guide for Parents
When school feels impossible Is getting your child to school a daily battle of tears, stomach aches, shutdowns, panic, or flat-out refusal? It is important to know that you’re not alone. School refusal is far more common than many parents realise and it can be deeply distressing for families who feel stuck between wanting to support their child and worrying about attendance, learning, and the future. A recent 2023 survey found that 39 per cent of parents agreed or strongly a
Hills Relationship Centre
Feb 14 min read
Parenting a Teen with ADHD: Less Battles, More Connection
Parenting a teenager is challenging at the best of times. Parenting a teenager with ADHD can feel like you’re playing on “hard mode” — with the rule book constantly changing. As a parent of an ADHD teen are you feeling exhausted, confused, and unsure whether you’re being too strict… or not strict enough? Often you have tried everything — routines, consequences, encouragement — yet still find yourselves locked in a daily power struggle over homework, screen time, chores, or e
Toni Stephan
Dec 16, 20253 min read
Navigating the Holidays in a Blended Family: Finding Connection in the Chaos
The holiday season often brings joy, connection and familiar traditions. But for blended families, it can also come with extra layers — more people to consider, more moving parts, and more emotions in the mix. None of this means something is wrong; it simply reflects the real complexity of bringing different families and histories together. Merging traditions, balancing schedules, and supporting children who move between homes can add to the business and overwhelm that often
Hills Relationship Centre
Dec 9, 20254 min read
When You Just Want to Be Understood: Why Emotional Validation Matters More Than You Think
Most of us have had that moment where we’re talking to someone we care about — our partner, a friend, a family member — and it feels like we’re speaking different languages. You’re not asking them to fix it. You’re not asking them to take sides. You just want them to get it. To look at you and say: “That makes sense. I hear you.” When that doesn’t happen, it leaves a quiet ache. An emotional disconnection that lingers long after the conversation ends. This is where emotiona
Hills Relationship Centre
Nov 21, 20253 min read
Screen Time and Children: Finding Balance in a Digital World + Free Downloadable Parent Resource
Screens are now part of everyday life — from online learning and games to family movie nights and social connection. While technology can be a wonderful tool, many parents worry about the impact of too much screen time on their child’s development, attention, sleep, and mood. The goal isn’t to eliminate screens altogether, but to find a balance that supports healthy growth, emotional wellbeing, and family connection. Understanding Screen Time “Screen time” refers to any time
Hills Relationship Centre
Oct 22, 20254 min read
Managing Triggers After an Affair
When trust has been broken, even the smallest reminder can bring a wave of emotion — anger, fear, sadness, or panic. These moments, known as triggers , can feel like reliving the pain all over again. Triggers aren’t a sign of weakness or failure; they’re the nervous system’s way of saying, “Something still feels unsafe.” Healing after an affair means learning to recognise these moments, care for yourself gently, and, over time, rebuild safety in your relationship. 1. Understa
Hailee Walker
Oct 20, 20253 min read
The Four Horsemen of Communication — and Their Antidotes
Every couple experiences conflict. What matters most isn’t if you argue, but how you argue. Drs. John and Julie Gottman, leading...
Hills Relationship Centre
Sep 2, 20253 min read
Trusting Your Judgment: A Guide to Moving Beyond Overthinking
Why Overthinking Holds Us Back Overthinking is often an attempt to protect ourselves from mistakes. But more often, it leaves us stuck in...
Hills Relationship Centre
Aug 21, 20253 min read
Conversations, Not Conflicts: 3 Common Communication Mistakes (and How to Avoid Them)
Why This Matters Couples often say they want to: Communicate better Build a more peaceful relationship Maintain respect and kindness...
Hills Relationship Centre
Aug 18, 20253 min read
Co-Parenting After Separation: A Practical Guide to Supporting Your Child’s Wellbeing
The end of a romantic relationship brings significant changes — especially when children are involved. Moving from partners to co-parents...
Hills Relationship Centre
Aug 14, 20254 min read
Helping Your Children Through Separation and Divorce: A Guide for Parents
Separation and divorce are major life transitions—not only for the couple, but for the entire family. For children, these changes can be...
Hills Relationship Centre
Jul 21, 20253 min read
Co-Parenting with Care: Understanding Shared Parental Responsibility After Separation
At Hills Relationship Centre, we often support parents who are navigating the complexities of separation—not just the emotional toll, but...
Hills Relationship Centre
Jul 21, 20253 min read
Parallel Parenting: An Alternative Approach for High-Conflict Co-Parenting
Co-parenting is never without its challenges, but when dealing with a high-conflict or toxic ex, it can feel nearly impossible. Constant...
Hills Relationship Centre
Mar 26, 20255 min read
Boundaries and Expectations with Teenagers: The Secrets to Guiding Your Teen Without Pushing Them Away
Author: Mark Burnard | Counsellor at Hills Relationship Centre Parents love their kids and the concern for their safety and wellbeing leads us to want to put up some guardrails and boundaries to keep them safe and happy. However, as they grow it is very natural for teens especially to test boundaries, to be adventurous, sometimes overconfident, to run risks and even be plain rebellious. However, not all teenagers are the same and even within families, kids can differ in pers
Mark Burnard
Mar 13, 20259 min read
Fighting Fair: A Practical Guide for Couples + Free Resource
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship — but it doesn’t have to be destructive. Learning to “fight fair” means approaching disagreements in ways that protect respect, strengthen trust, and build understanding rather than creating distance. This guide outlines five evidence-based strategies couples can use to turn conflict into an opportunity for growth. 1. Focus on the Issue, Not the Person Why it matters: Personal attacks trigger defensiveness, making resolution harder.
Montana Harper
Feb 14, 20253 min read
The Vagus Nerve: A Guide to Calming Your Nervous System
In today’s fast-paced and often stressful world, many of us live with constant demands on our time, energy, and attention. Work pressures, financial strain, and the emotional weight of global and personal challenges can keep our nervous systems in overdrive — contributing to anxiety, burnout, and emotional exhaustion. This guide will help you: Understand the role of the vagus nerve in stress and recovery. Recognise the signs your nervous system is dysregulated. Learn a variet
Montana Harper
Jan 15, 20254 min read
Has Your Partner Lost Interest in Sex? Understanding Desire Changes & How to Reconnect
Struggling with intimacy? Learn why desire changes over time and how to reconnect emotionally and physically in your relationship.
Hailee Walker
Nov 28, 20242 min read
How to Communicate with a High-Conflict Co-Parent
Dealing with a high-conflict individual—such as an ex or co-parent—can be frustrating, draining, and often discouraging. Whether you’re...
Hills Relationship Centre
Sep 12, 20243 min read
Are You Truly Listening, or Just Waiting to Speak? The Key to Deeper Connections (With Bonus Free Resource)
Why Listening Without Ego Matters: How to Truly Hear and Connect Listening without ego transforms how we connect with others. It reduces conflict, increases trust, and builds emotional safety — essential ingredients for healthy, lasting relationships. When we listen with ego, we filter conversations through our own lens—ready to defend, argue, or protect ourselves. When we listen without ego, we open up to the other person’s words, emotions, and experiences, creating space fo
Hills Relationship Centre
Aug 26, 20242 min read
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