Trusting Your Judgment: A Guide to Moving Beyond Overthinking

Why Overthinking Holds Us Back

Overthinking is often an attempt to protect ourselves from mistakes. But more often, it leaves us stuck in analysis, doubt, and self-criticism. We replay conversations, agonise over whether we said the right thing, or hesitate so long that opportunities pass us by.

The truth is, most of us have already made countless good decisions in our lives—often without perfect clarity. Looking back at those moments can remind us that we already have the tools to make choices we can trust.

Remembering Past Wins

Let's take a moment to pause and reflect: what decisions have you made that actually worked out?

These might be choices that felt risky or uncomfortable at the time but led to growth, connection, or relief. Examples could include:

• Saying yes to a new experience

• Walking away from a toxic friendship or relationship

• Sending that difficult message

• Joining a group or class even when you felt nervous

Why It Works

We tend to remember our decision-making anxiety more clearly than our decision-making success. You might vividly recall the stress of a specific choice you made, but forget that you ultimately chose well.

People consistently underestimate their decision-making abilities, even when their track record is strong. When you recognise past good choices, you build trust in your judgment for future decisions.

By revisiting our past wins, we build a mental “bank account” of trust in ourselves. Each one is a reminder: I’ve done this before. I can do it again.

How Overthinking Shows Up

Overthinking rarely feels logical—it shows up in small but draining ways:

• Re-reading texts to check if they “sound right”

• Replaying conversations in your mind, ruminating on what you could have said or done differently

• Feeling paralysed when making everyday decisions, like what to wear or which email to send

• Constantly second-guessing whether others are upset with you

Recognising these patterns is the first step to interrupting them.

A Toolkit for Moving Through Overthinking

Instead of trying to eliminate overthinking altogether, focus on strategies to keep it from taking over.

1. Name it – “This is overthinking.” Label the spiral for what it is.

2. Limit it – Give yourself a 5-minute timer to think it through, then decide.

3. Reframe it – Instead of "I'm terrible at making decisions," → "I've made many good decisions, even when they felt scary or uncertain at the time."

4. Ground it – Notice your surroundings, take three deep breaths, or move your body for a few minutes.

5. Shift it – Ask: What decision have I made in the past that turned out fine—even when I wasn’t sure?

Confidence Is Built, Not Given

Confidence doesn’t mean certainty. It’s built by acting even when you don’t know the outcome. Each time you follow through and see things work out, you strengthen that inner voice of trust.

This is why recalling past “decisions that worked” is so powerful—it’s living evidence that you can move forward, even when anxious or unsure.

The Role of Connection

Reaching out to others pulls us out of the spiral of our thoughts and into genuine connection. Seeking support from community, family, friendships, or a counsellor all remind us that decisions are rarely made in isolation. The presence of supportive people can ease overthinking and strengthen our confidence.

Habits That Support Clearer Decisions

Research shows the simplest wellness habits—not expensive programs or extreme routines—most effectively reduce overthinking and build clarity:

• Sleep well – Fatigue amplifies doubt.

• Eat nourishing meals – Stabilise mood and energy.

• Move your body – Even gentle walking boosts mental clarity.

• Practice saying “no” – Create space for what matters.

• Stay connected – Healthy relationships buffer against spirals.

• Spend time in nature – Grounding and perspective-giving.

These basics lay the foundation for calmer, more confident choices.

Putting It Into Practice

Here are simple ways to carry this forward:

• Journaling prompt – “One decision I made this year that I doubted at first, but that worked out well, is…”

• Confidence jar – Write down good choices as they happen. Revisit them on days you’re stuck in doubt.

• Weekly reflection – At the end of every week, ask: What decision worked for me this week?

Final Note

You don’t need perfect clarity to make good decisions. In fact, most meaningful choices come with uncertainty. By looking back on the risks you’ve already taken—and how they paid off—you remind yourself that your judgment is trustworthy.

Confidence is not the absence of overthinking. It’s choosing to act anyway, and letting experience teach you that you can.