Screen Time and Children: Finding Balance in a Digital World + Free Downloadable Parent Resource
- HRC
- Oct 22
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 20
Screens are now part of everyday life — from online learning and games to family movie nights and social connection. While technology can be a wonderful tool, many parents worry about the impact of too much screen time on their child’s development, attention, sleep, and mood.
The goal isn’t to eliminate screens altogether, but to find a balance that supports healthy growth, emotional wellbeing, and family connection.
Understanding Screen Time
“Screen time” refers to any time spent using devices such as TVs, tablets, phones, or computers. Not all screen time is created equal — watching a family movie or learning online is different from endless scrolling or gaming alone.
A healthy approach focuses less on counting hours and more on how screens are being used and what they might be replacing (like play, sleep, or real-world interaction).
The Impact of Excessive Screen Time
Research shows that too much unstructured screen use can:
Disrupt sleep patterns and melatonin production
Reduce physical activity
Affect mood and attention
Increase irritability or difficulty self-regulating after “switching off”
Interfere with social and emotional skill development
You might notice your child becoming more restless, resistant when asked to stop, or less interested in offline play. These are common signs that screen habits might need adjusting.
What Healthy Screen Use Looks Like
Healthy screen habits balance digital time with connection, movement, learning, and creativity. Some general guidelines include:
Co-view and engage — when possible, watch or play together so you can talk about what they’re seeing.
Set tech-free zones — such as mealtimes, bedrooms, or the first hour after waking up.
Encourage alternatives — keep board games, art supplies, or outdoor play accessible.
Be consistent — predictable routines reduce conflict around when and how screens are used.
Model balance — children notice our relationship with technology, too.
Evidence-Informed Strategies for Families
Alongside these habits, the Black Dog Institute recommends additional practical approaches to help children build a healthy relationship with technology:
Be curious about their online world — ask what they enjoy, who they interact with, and what they find challenging.
Serve as a mentor, not just a monitor — instead of only enforcing rules, explore together why limits matter.
Balance online & offline interests — support hobbies, sports, chores, and creative play so screens don’t become the default.
Understand tech “hooks” — talk about autoplay, algorithms, notifications, and why it’s hard to switch off.
Watch and play together when possible — co-viewing builds connection and gives you visibility into content and experiences.
These strategies keep screen-time guidance cooperative, relational, and grounded in emotional development — rather than purely rule-based.
Creating Screen Guidelines
Having rules, limits, and boundaries around technology and screen time is important. When children are included in those discussions (in age-appropriate ways), they’re more likely to cooperate, and it supports their growing sense of responsibility and self-regulation.
Some ideas:
Agree on daily screen limits based on age and needs
Choose calm, educational, or social content over purely stimulating games and videos
Turn off devices at least one hour before bedtime
Use parental controls to manage content and screen time, but combine with open conversations about why
Free Download: Screen Time Family Agreement & Routine Planner
A simple, practical guide to help you talk about device use and online safety with your children, and to create calm, consistent screen routines at home.
Helpful Conversation Starters
To support healthy habits around screens, parents can also introduce gentle curiosity-based reflection:
“How does this game/video make you feel during and afterward?”
“What do you think the creator wants you to feel or do?”
“Who are you chatting or playing with online today?”
“What else would you enjoy doing after screen time?”
These questions help children develop emotional awareness, critical thinking, and self-regulation, rather than relying solely on adult direction.
Why Firm (but Kind) Boundaries Matter
It’s not uncommon for parents to feel guilty about setting limits, or to worry that being “too firm” might harm the relationship. It’s equally natural for children to test or negotiate those limits — that’s part of how they learn boundaries. What helps most is keeping expectations firm and consistent, while allowing some flexibility for special occasions or family needs.
Children feel safest when they know the boundaries are steady and the adults are in charge. This doesn’t mean being rigid — just confident and clear, so screens don’t become a source of constant negotiation or power struggles.
When Screen Time Can Become a Problem
For most families, occasional screen time battles are normal, but when devices start to dominate daily routines or emotions, it may be time to pause and reflect.
Screens can become problematic when they:
Replace real-life connection — your child prefers screens over playing, talking, or spending time with friends or family.
Trigger frequent conflict — every attempt to set limits ends in tears, arguments, or meltdowns.
Affect mood or behaviour — you notice more irritability, emotional ups and downs, or difficulty concentrating after screen use.
Interfere with learning or thinking — you see a drop in focus, curiosity, or motivation at school, or your child seems more distracted or forgetful.
Impact attention span and attitude — tasks requiring motivation, patience, or sustained effort feel harder, and frustration builds more quickly.
Disrupt sleep or routines — it's harder for your child to wind down, bedtime stretches later due to device use, or switching off becomes a nightly battle.
Become a coping tool — your child turns to screens whenever they’re bored, anxious, or distressed.
If any of these things sound familiar, it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. These patterns often point to deeper needs for stimulation, connection, or emotional regulation.
If Screen Time Feels Out of Balance
Small shifts can make a big difference:
Re-establish routines slowly and consistently
Create gentle transitions before and after screen time
Increase co-viewing or shared digital activities
Prioritise outdoor play and movement
Pair device use with positive offline rituals (snack + short chat, activity break, etc.)
Talking about these dynamics with a counsellor can help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface and develop strategies that work for your family’s unique rhythm.
Technology isn’t the enemy — it’s a part of modern life. The key is using it intentionally and ensuring it supports, rather than replaces, healthy development and connection.
If you’d like more support navigating screen habits in your home, our counsellors can help you create a plan that feels calm, consistent, and sustainable.
