top of page
  • Writer's pictureHRC

Do your friends effect your relationship?

Updated: Aug 2, 2019

Originally published on The Big Smoke

As we close the chapter on 2014 and begin to set goals and New Year’s resolutions for 2015, can I suggest to you that your success and failings for the coming year are greatly affected by the company you keep.

When making plans for 2015, it should be high on your list of priorities to evaluate the relationships closest to you. You are who you surround yourself with. While our relationships should first and foremost be genuine, it is also wise to have an element of strategy in the mix.

Jim Rohn suggests that “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” If you are planning to improve your romantic relationship next year, then it will be of benefit to you to surround yourself with couples who have the kind of relationship you would like. If you plan on starting a business then it will be of benefit to you to surround yourself with successful business men and women. It seems like a logical and obvious thing to do, yet many of us don’t consider our relationships and the effects that they have on us when we set our personal and professional goals.

It is also important not to neglect the effect that your online relationships have on you. Most of us are a part of an online community be it Facebook, Instagram or the like. The people you are “friends” with or “follow” can also have an impact on your plans for the coming year. Some of us may have goals to be healthier in the next twelve months. If this is your goal then be stragic about your online connections. Consider connecting with others who share your same goals and values such as nutritionists, personal trainers and wellbeing coaches.

You may want to take some time and consider if the company you are keeping is helping or hindering you. Relationships that hinder you leave you feeling drained, negative and sometimes you may feel like you simply cannot be yourself and express your thoughts and feelings. These relationships can cause you to feel like you are walking on egg shells or be so drama filled that they resemble an episode of Game of Thrones.

Relationships that help you are not always easy. Difficult relationships can help us grow and learn. They can better us as people on a personal and professional level. When you are thinking of helpful try not to confuse it with easy. Helpful relationships are ones where you feel equal, respected, challenged, supported and cared about.

It’s important be honest and also to take a good hard look at yourself. To some degree, we may be unconsciously contributing to an unhealthy relationship dynamic through our insecurities or low self-worth. Are you over-accommodating and depriving yourself of your needs? Are you so worried about pleasing people that you self-sacrifice to an unhealthy level where the give and take in your relationships is uneven?

If you find that you have some relationships in your life that are hindering you, often clear, direct and assertive communication can bring these relationships back into balance. If your attempts to make the relationship more balanced, healthy and helpful are unsuccessful then it may be time to consider how important that relationship is to you.

You simply cannot soar with the eagles if you hang around with the turkeys.



bottom of page