Communicating with curiosity leads to deeper connection and increased understanding. Here we share with you a few ways you can lessen judgment and practice a more curious approach to communicating with your partner.
1. Stop creating false narratives.
When we make assumptions about other people, we are already judging based off something that may not be true. Before jumping to conclusions, try asking for clarity.
This might sound like:
"I'm noticing you're quiet tonight. Is there something on your mind that you want to share?"
"When you said ____ I interpreted it to mean ____. Is that right?"
"I'm wondering what you meant when you said ____. Can you help me to understand?"
2. Listen mindfully.
Sometimes we might find ourselves having already made judgments, or focusing on what our response will be or what advice we can give, rather than what our partner is actually saying to us. Practice listening mindfully with the intent to understand and connect. Try to let go of any judgments and the need to fill in the pauses with responses, advice or solutions. Just listen.
3. Respond with curiosity. If you don't understand, it's okay to ask for clarity. Try asking open-ended questions to allow your partner to take the conversation in the direction that's most meaningful to them.
This might sound like:
"How did you feel when ____"
"What lead you to that decision?"
"Can you share your thoughts about ____?"