• HRC

6 Things to Say When Setting a New Boundary in Your Relationship



Setting a boundary with someone is an attempt to maintain a healthy relationship with them.


Here are 6 things you can say when setting boundaries in your relationship, when you feel your boundaries are being challenged, or when you want to help your partner to understand why a certain boundary is important to you.


  1. "I understand it is hard to adjust to change, but I care about this relationship and would like us to try. What are your feelings around this?"

  2. "I may have allowed that in the past, but my tolerance has changed and I am no longer okay with that."

  3. "I have changed my mind and this is what I need right now."

  4. "Please respect me by honoring this new boundary I am setting."

  5. "My needs and feelings around this are different now."

  6. "This is a new boundary of mine. It is important to me that we understand each other. Can we talk about this together?"


Remember: holding and respecting boundaries is important for every healthy relationship. When someone sets a boundary with you, it is their attempt to continue a relationship with you, not an attempt to hurt you.

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